=)=

Sunday, October 22, 2006 @ 00:46

Your little piece of heaven turns to dark
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile

If you expect to read something nice and pleasent, please go to someone else's blog. This entry is not for you.

What do I do when everyone blames me for something that i never do? I cry...

But first and foremost, Thanks H1 lit class for that unforgettable experience. I'll never forget it, especially the part where you all make fun of me... lol

Had a fight just now, with my mother and aunties. Not in front of my grandmother, for that I thank god. This time the fight is really not my fault. My auntie was already angry about something else so when i said something than she was like jumping on me lah. I seriously hate it when someone blames me for something that's not my fault. I seriously hate my aunties. They think that just because they are older than they reign supreme over me, that i cannot correct them when they are wrong. WTF lah, why don't say that they are just simple minded idiots who cannot take it when people younger than them correct them. IF it wasn't for my grandmother, i wouldn't even take the effort to go down every week just to see them and get scolded. IT'S JUST SO **<*ING UNFAIR. And my mother must side with them. WHY?! WHY THE F*** CAN'T SHE SEE THE FACT THAT I'M JUST TRYING TO CORRECT THEM OUT OF GOODWILL??!!

Sigh, even the thing which i love doing also must be taken away from me. I'm talking about the piano. Seems like, some idiot from downstairs came up to complain about me playing the piano late at night and disturbing their sleep or something. I admit i play late at night, sometimes at 2 but I closed all my windows and my room door and i play all those soft songs leh, how the F*** can the idiot downstairs here me? My mother of course has to agree with them and now i can't touch the piano after 11 which equals to i might as well not touch it at all since i finish school at 4+ each day and by the time i reach back home it's time for dinner blah blah and homework to be done. Sigh...

My little piece of heaven has just turn dark. I'm not kidding, what will i do without my piano? THat was the only thing why i still fight to live. Seriously, i almost did it lah. Only becoz my friend talked me out of it. Now what will i do. My laptop is spoilt since god knows when and i failed my promos like shit and i'm going to get retained, Fuck this life of mine lah. Why must i be so unlucky until like that. Sigh... Sigh... Just my luck... How i wish i was someone else... AS if i didn't have enough things to worry about, I still got to worry about my piano results and my promo results. Fuck off lah.................... I feel like quitting school and travel the world by foot.

I really wonder what my friends think about me... I know that i've got a lot of enemies, even those who act as my friends. I can name a few right now. What am i to all of you, my "friends". Let me tell you this, being anti-social like aishah wants to be is easy, i survived the whole sec. 4 year like that. IT"s opening up to everyone that i find difficult. Anyone who was in the same lit class as me during the first 3 months will know that I kept to myself for the whole 3 months of lit lesson. I'm not like others, i really need no one to talk to.

I really need someone to talk to... Someone who i can trust... This feeling of hatred and despair is eating me up. I got no more tears to shed anymore. My tears have all been used up. The rest of you, please stay away from me... As far as possible...

Fuck i feel so hopeless and useless... FUCK!