What's written here are my own thoughts. If you disagree with it, be professional and click the red X on the top right hand side. Please don't spam my C-box with vulgarities.
Sunday, September 30, 2007 @ 00:48
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It's so hard just to start studying again... I'm not the kind of person who can pick himself up after a setback and start all over again. I'm the kind of person who gets in there and gets the job done the first time round. It's just like playing a game. I don't know how many more lives I have until the big GAME OVER words appear...
I tried doing chemistry just now... I really did... I spent 3 hours only doing 3 questions... And the quality of those answers are totally lousy... I doubt they would get me any marks during As. I just feel so demoralised... I've already put in all my effort, sacrificed a lot of things just to study for prelims and yet... I still fail... Granted, I wasn't expecting to pass anyway. But still, getting a fail when you study so hard is just so... Fucked up. What else am I missing???
Are you proud of who you've become? Is it me who has changed or is it you? Are you truely happy now? DO you realise what you have sacrificed just for that? You are no longer the same person. I don't even know who you are anymore. You're just not the same. Is it me who has changed or is it you? I just can't bring myself to trust you or talk to you anymore. I hope that someday, you'll ask yourself this question... Is it really worth it?
If you really can't bring yourself to talk to me, then don't. Stop lying to me. More importantly, stop lying to yourself. Sure. you're important to me. But if you want to bring it to this level of playing field, I quit. I'm not going to continue and go against everything I stand for. If that's the way you still see things, then I'm afraid that we have reached a parting of ways... It's time for me to go my own way and not follow you anymore.
Just like the stars in the night sky, shining brightly and so high up, yet providing no warmth or comfort. That's what my friends are lately... Just like that stars...
I wish I had Celeste's willpower, Rauf's determination, Christina and Siti's perseverance, Si Yun's spirit to do well, Xin Yun's outlook on life and many more... But I don't. That's why, I'm Yong Jun, nobody else. Nobody more.
