First thing my father asked when I met him for dinner just now, when everytime I come back from school he's asleep. The first words that were out of his mouth was: " How did you do for your exam?" And my answer was I failed everything. The next words that came out of his mouth was actually not this, but the tone says it all... " Why the hell are you so ........" And then someone came to take our order. But the damage has been done hasn't it? You already conveyed across what you wanted to say. I know you're disappointed with me. But what can I do?!?! I'm already trying my best. If you really still feel so disappointed with me, why don't you go adopt someone whose scoring As to be your son/ daughter? It's the same with teachers... I look into their eyes, I can see the disappointment over there... So sue me already... As if I'm not disappointed in myself enough.
I know that in the end, I'm just going to play second fiddle to someone else. It's not that I don't trust my friends. It's your actions that just serves to emplify the point. The way you speak to me, the way you act... In the end, I'm just going to play second fiddle to someone else... You expect me to trust you when your every action tells me that I can't? That's as good as asking for peace while waving a gun in the air. THIS is why I tell people that I deleted my blog. It's a double edged sword...
If all of you think that a pass is good enough, WAKE UP. A pass= to SHIT. A pass in A levels. So? It's still not going to get you anywhere. What you going to compare with? Your E to other people's A. I'm not even aiming to get all As or get a scholarship... All I want is a good enough grade to get into a local U. Is that so much to ask for? I guess it is... I guess it is...
I wish I had the willpower to carry on. I wish I had the strength to say it's ok and work doubly hard. I wish I had the perseverance like some people to do well, to stick to their goal, no matter the cost. But I don't. I guess that's why they are they and I am me.
Quit bitching about your siblings bullying you and all... Try having an older brother who the amount of conversation you had with him in your 18 years of life can't even add up to 1 year. I pray that non of you ever have to go through that. Whatever you may say, you won't like it...
I know I shouldn't have said the words that I said to you this morning. I didn't know about your results. I should have just kept my mouth shut and listened instead of bitching back. I know the words shouldn't have left my mouth. But it's too late for that now. You've already heard it. I can't turn back time to change the way it was. It's too late... I'm sorry. Excuse or reason? It's up to you to decide. Whatever it is, I'm still sorry... If you read this if you find my blog which I'm fairly certain you will, you're smart. I'm sorry... If it does matter to you, I still think you're superwoman...
Have any of you noticed that in the past I never ever looked into your eyes when I speak to you? Or that when I'm alone with you I can talk and talk non-stop but in a group I won't even say anything? Have any of you approached me and ask me why? Have any of you ever sat down with me and talked to me? Have you?