=)=

Saturday, February 20, 2010 @ 23:37

I've did it. I've locked everything up. Blogger, twitter, and I'm finding a way to lock facebook up. Fuck this, I don't need this kind of shit from my friends. Wait a second? Friends?? Fuck you. I can guarantee that I've been more of a fucking shit friend to you then you have been to me ok. And I'm referring to you too, don't fucking think just because I treat you with respect means you can treat me like shit. Well I'm fucking sorry I'm not the same as you, as all of you who are in fucking local universities, of course, you don't want to mix with a fucking loser who has no university to go to, who most likely won't make it far in life. Let me say it again, F-U-C-K you. You can all go fuck yourself in the ass. I'm fucking pissed off now ok. And fuck you if you message me all of a sudden and ask why I did this, what's wrong and all the other crap that you'll feed. FUCK YOU. Don't act as though you're that fucking nice. If you are, this wouldn't even have happened in the first fucking place. You think you can say a few words and have me swonning over you, apologizing for what I wrote and trying my hardest to be friends while you just sit on your fucking ass and ignore me? Maybe last time, not anymore. Why the fuck should I be the one putting in all the effort to maintain a friendship that you obviously aren't fucking trying to maintain? And I'm not just pissed off with my friends, my realatives are also pissing me off. FUCKING CHEE BYE, you think I want to cheat your fucking son over a fucking small amount of 50 cents?? FUCKING CHEE BYE, it's not my fucking fault that you didn't teach your fucking asshole of a son how to count. And if you can't see properly, go and get some fucking specs you fucking blind bitch. You call me a cheater in front of all my cousins, just because you can't fucking count without the help of your fingers doesn't mean that everyone else can't bitch. I'm fucking pissed off. I'm that pissed till there are tears rolling down my face now. But these are not tears of sadness. These are tears of rage. And I can tell you that I don't get this pissed off this easily. The last time I got this pissed off and cried ( Which was also the last time I cried prior to now ) was 3 years ago. You think it's fucking easy living my life and think that it's so fun to be 21 ( Rachel) Why don't you try?? I fucking even doubt if you can survive a fucking day.

I seriously wish I had the courage to commit suicide. Fuck you if you say you're suicidal. I've been suicidal ever since JC, but I doubt you have the balls to actually do it. I wish I had the balls to do it... There's nothing worth living for now... Perhaps, truth be told, there really never ever was anything worth living for... Perhaps all this is but a dream...

PS: Rachel, I damn sorry to do this to you, locking my blog when I just told you my address. I'm sorry k. Maybe you'll understand why when you're 21.