=)=

Saturday, August 13, 2011 @ 23:09

Hello my dear blog. Only you have stood by me as I switched my preferences to Facebook and Twitter. Only you have waited patiently until I came back to blogging. Guess what? I'm starting to ignore Facebook more and I'm only using Twitter. Though it kills me a little inside every time I use Twitter nowadays. =(

So my dear old friend, what has happened? Plenty. But I'm sure you already knew that. You know everything, even though I never blog or anything else. You know, cause you're like me. We see stuff that people think nobody sees.

It's my gift, that I can see stuff that people normally misses. All the little little stuff, all the little signs, all the small things that people usually misses. I see them. I know them. That coupled with my over-imaginative brain will usually solve the question most of the time. I can't put it into words, but if I have to borrow a phrase, it would be "insight." Though I might have "4" eyes, I can bet that my "eyesight" is much better than half the lot of you.

At the same time, it is my curse. I see things that people usually misses. Coupled that with the stupid way that I think, me thinking that everyone needs a friend sometimes, I always try my best to be there for them. I know, sometimes I go overboard. Sometimes, I cross the line. But really all I want to do is make people happy. I'm glad actually, that 6 years ago, Karolyn didn't misunderstand my intentions. Lucky she understood. In fact, I'm down-right glad and lucky she did. Others though... Sigh

Which brings me to my point. 10 years, everything I've been doing, people always misunderstand. And it's always the problem with girlfriends. Look, if I'm interested in your girl, you will know. I suck at hiding my feelings, especially love. I've tried to explain. I've tried to reason. None of it works. I've been threatened, I've been given a death threat, I've been beaten up. Whatever it is, it's already happened to me. Don't bother.

So the question would be, why do I still keep doing it? Am I a glutton for punishment? Don't I just hate it? I do. Really. But at the same time, every time I feel like giving up, I tell myself this: "It's not fair to deprive someone my help who is actually going to appreciate it just because the previous few I have do not appreciate it." AND that's what keeps me going when I want to give up. Funny really. It's all a battle within my mind. I'm schizophrenic. Don't mind me. Jekyll vs Hyde.

To end off, this was what was written of me 5 years ago by Amanda. I still remember it to this very day. Don't ask me why. It's just... A great homage to what I am. I'm glad she understood cause the 1 person who could misunderstand me the most is her. Though I don't talk to her anymore. =/ Sigh. Another friendship lost.

He taught me to not judge people by their cover.
That i should meet the person and form my own judgements.
He showed me that not everyone is simple nor easy to understand.
That everyone has shades of grey.
He keeps showing another side of himself.
He cares, yet doesn't show it
If fire in ice was personified.
It would probably be him

PS: Welcome back my dear blog. I miss you.