=)=

Monday, August 21, 2017 @ 02:02

I've alternatively wanted to tweet, then I realised that I didn't want to let people know what's happening. But I still wanted to voice out my thoughts before I go crazy. So what do I do? Reuse the old blogs that I still have from way back since secondary school when blogging was still an in thing. I doubt anyone still bothers to come here, nor they remember the address. So I feel relatively safe posting here.

It's like you want people to know, but at the same time you don't want them to know. Funny right...

I know, I don't have that many friends left. I forfeited them all in my pursuit of my uni degree as well as my part time job. When people keep asking you to go out when you need to study or work, of course you will turn them down... it's not that you want to... it's just... priorities.

Do I regret the decision? Yes. I do. I really do. I rarely have any friends left. I gave up everything I had to graduate.

Was it necessary? Yes. Yes it was.

Now... I'm fighting with my gf. My gf doesn't believe that I'm doing anything and is mad at me. Yes, I know it's been 5 years going on 6. But I've already explained time and again that our situation is different from most other relationship. Why would you not believe that if it was so easy, I would have already proposed to you and start a family with you? It really isn't that simple. And yes, I know I've restricted you a lot of things... But can't you see that it's for your own good? That I'm trying to improve your life the only way i know how...

Then on the other hand, I'm fighting with my parents because of this. Why would you not believe that this is love (if I even know what love is). And that I've already thought of everything? Why is it that you ask me to live my own life, but when I want to do, you don't want to let me? You don't want to give me your blessings, you don't even want to hear me out before forming all your opinion... What do you want me to do?

And if god is so great, why can't I love her without worshipping You? Why must I die die follow you then you will approve? Aren't you supposed to be all great? Why get upset over such a small thing?

To go against God, which would most likely cause me to be struck by lightning...

Or to go against my parents as well? Which would cause me to be struck by lightning as well...

Struck by lightning or struck by lightning. I've suddenly became a lightning rod.

Fk my life...